We live in a "self-help" society where a great majority of the populace feels that they need to be healed and are immobilized by guilt.  The most aggressive technique capable of correcting this situation is to brainwash yourself.

  (Each step will take place in an environement of isolation, where sleep is impossible and I will be forced to fast.  A place where physical harm is a constant threat.)








  1 - Attack Your Identity:  "I am not who I think I am.  I am not a storyteller, poet or spoken word artist."  Represented by the list I made of every single word I know in English.  I attack my identity by crossing the words out with a red pen and then with needle and thread I sew my mouth shut.
























("Attack Your Identity" is to be performed inside a small square enclosure directly in the center of the space.  The vocabulary list is presented alphabetically as wallpaper inside the inner enclosure.  The framed photographs of the act of sewing my mouth shut, should be hung on top of the wallpaper and centered at 60" from the ground evenly distributed or equidistant from each other.  The floor inside covered with broken glass.  Here is where I will stay for the first part of the performance with my mouth sewed shut.  An audio cd will be playing a recording of myself reading every single word I know in English [backwards] for the duration of this 3 day act.)






  2 - Depersonalization:  To further destroy my personality, I systematically attacked my ego and core belief systems by charting and graphing thousands of facts about myself that reveal extremely personal information, but in a completely cold and impersonal way.  For example:







(This "Depersonalization" will be displayed as wallpaper covering the entire inner walls, floor and ceiling of the outer space.  Totally enveloping the space for the purpose of being sensory overloaded with impersonal/personal data.  The audience will be strongly encouraged to read these aloud.  Loud enough for me to hear over the audio recordings.)









  I AM A BAD PERSON: With my identity in crisis, I stay for an undetermined amount of time in total darkness while an audio recording is constantly attacking me mercilessly for every sin I have commited big or small.   I am shamed for being evil and everything I do and believe in is wrong.  This part of the performance is concluded once I betray myself, agree that I am bad, denounce any family members and friends that share the same wrong beliefs as I and then I willingly read aloud and sign a public confession.





  Who am I ?  What am I ?  Where am I ?  What am I supposed to do ?  Why am I ?  I have no clue what is happening to me and no understanding at all of who I am.  My brain is washed clean and I am eager and willing to convert to another belief system that will save me from this suffering and misery. 



(The performance will be videotaped and then shown for the duration of the exhibit.)






© Bryan Lewis Saunders 2008 (07/17/08)