Citizen Miller (Foot Village):

Standing in front of strangers and making them want to die is Bryan Lewis Saunders’s favorite pastime. Or perhaps it is less a pastime, and more his peculiar way of exerting sexual power over people. His performances and speeches are essentially mind-rapes. Saunders, the pervert, calls his performances “Stand Up Tragedy.” He says that the desired response he wants from the audience is to make them upset. Except the equally perverted, unsuspecting audiences are made to feel like everything is hopeless when they see Saunders perform.

It is his goal to make works that no one can like, because the subject matter is, essentially, pure evil. Not evil in some sort of fairy tale black metal theatrical way, but as in the things that are literally void of any happiness, hope or compassion. Things so completely fucked up that even if you want to think about them, your heart would not let you ever believe how terrible they really are. Until Saunders comes along that is.

One of the most intense of these evil-revealing pieces is “The Beach.” Inspired by his own time spent in prison, Saunders speaks in character of a prison warden. The prison warden is speaking to you as a day-one inmate. The warden is telling you all the things that Saunders wishes someone had told him on the first day of prison. This may sound like Saunders is being helpful, but this is not the type of advice that anyone with morals and even the slightest sense of nobility could ever take. Advice that essentially says the only way to survive in prison is to be the most evil person there. That only death awaits the timid or the righteous.

I am not saying that Bryan is wrong. And even though I cannot imagine being so morally depraved, I accept that if I were put in prison I would be at an advantage knowing these things before the rest. That said, this doesn’t mean I currently want to hear about these things. Nor do I get entertainment out of them. In a twisted and rare way, Saunders is doing the world a service through these performances. But it is a service that is necessarily thankless. Because, apparently, someone has to rape us now so that we don’t die later. It is for that reason I give this piece the despicable score of 2 out of 10. It would be a failure for Saunders to have scored any higher. To fully understand this atrocity, you should really watch the video portion of the piece. Warning. Click here . - CITIZEN MILLER